He left her for another woman...SMH

Perception. Here's a concept.

We all heard this or something like this before.

"How could you do that to me? I thought you were my friend? Why didn't you listen to me? Why did you lie to me? Why would you cheat on me? Why did you have to break my heart? Why do you want to hurt me? Why did you say it like that?"

I could go on and on with this.

While I was on the phone with this person, she was telling me how hurt she was that her husband of almost 30 years left her with 4 kids to go with another woman and take care of her and her kid... She didn't stop one minute talking about all the memories, plans, projects that she had for them. How they would grow old together. And because they we're a few of years away from retirement, how they would travel and see the world.

When he left, she promised herself that she would remain strong for her and her kids. She didn't even try to get him back. Even if, she still cries herself to sleep every night. It's been 5 years now. She's retirering next year.

Now, that same woman, for whom he left her for, is making her life miserable. Calling her. Sending bad, disgusting things to her door, to her life...SMH...

Before we hung up the phone, the last thing she said was: " For all my life, I've tried to live by Gods teaching. Never hurting no one. Took care of my home, my husband and my kids. I just don't understand why anyone would want to hurt me?

The big question. WHY would anyone want to hurt you? Really why?

It's simple. In their freaking mind they think that you've hurt them too!!!!

The Bitch (the other woman), is not having a good time. Because the A**hole (the husband) won't commit to her. In the Bitch's mind, she thinks that the Wife is the reason why her relationship to the A**hole is not working! Go figure! Mind you, the Wife and the A**hole are still married! So the Bitch is making the Wife's life miserable.

Perception.

An accident that happened at corner street, will not be described exactly the same way by the witnesses. Everybody has their own perception of the accident.

That's life. Everybody has their own perception of it. Of things. You may think you didn't do anything wrong but the someone you "wronged", will not see it the same way. If everyone would take the time to acknowlegde that we may not have the same perceptions, things would be less difficult. As we don't take our inspirations, decisions from the same pool of values; We are all different; We all don't see or process things the same way.

Who's right? Who's wrong? Who knows!

Perceptions. We all have them. Let's not be victims of them.

Please kick me when I'm down, Please!!!!

I have a total lack of inspiration... What to do? Most of the time, I get inspired by shit that happens to me. I guess I'm going through a boring phase. An uninspired phase. A "what the heck is wrong with everybody" phase.... But mind you, something "funny" did happen. This situation really came by surprise. Really surprise? Nah, by now I've learned to expect the unexpected. But shocking nonetheless. I didn't know that kicking someone when they're down was still " à la mode". How are you going to be, sooo not understanding of what someone is going through???

But I did notice something. When all is not well, people WILL stay away. I guess it's because they are reminded that not all is not good with them too. Or they just don't want to be bothered. I heard something one day that kind of shaped my way of relating to things, to people. Someone was asked "Why are your problems bigger than anyone else" and she replied "Because they're mine". Wow, an eye opening moment it was for me. And because they're "mine" and not "theirs”, people will stay away. But If you buy a new car, oh they will call. You know in case they might need a ride someday. And of course they want to know all the money details... Now if you win the lottery you know you won't be able to get rid of them. You may even gain new family !

If you are going through a tough time, you will be alone, most of the time. You will have that one person or two, among all those people you call “friend” that will stick by you no matter what. When all is good, don’t forget to downgrade their asses down to “acquaintance”. And feel free to add levels: acquaintance level 1, acquaintance level 2 and 3. (level 3: You don’t want to get there!!)

If everything is good, you will be surrounded. People will live vicariously through you. But then you will have to find out who’s in for the real deal. Not easy. The devil comes in many faces. Sometimes he’s cute and sexy as hell...

So, there it is. Breathe. Just take it in...

Real men... Apprendre par l'exemple ( en français)

Si un homme n'a pas grandit avec un homme, il ne saura jamais comment être un vrai homme... L'importance de l'exemple prend là toute son importance. Apprendre par l'exemple. Dans un temps lointain, les hommes apprenaient à devenir médecins en regardant et apprenant d'un autre homme. D'ailleurs tout ce faisait ainsi... Apprendre par l'exemple. Tout ce fait encore ainsi. Mais comment souhaiter que l'homme que tu fréquentes se comporte comme un vrai homme et qu'après avoir fait le bilan de sa vie tu apprends que son père battait sa mère, ça explique ses tendances violentes envers toi. Son père violait des enfants, le regard qu'il porte sur tes enfants laisse un froid dans ton dos. Son père n'était jamais là, ça explique qu'il disparraisse pendant une semaine et revienne comme si de rien n'était. Son père n'a jamais travaillé de sa vie, ça explique son état "chômatique chronique". Son père était alcoolique, ça explique que, pendant que toi tu pousses ton panier au Maxi, lui il pousse son panier à la SAQ. Faut-il leurs en vouloir. Oui. Parce que dans la vie on a plusieurs fois la chance de se reprendre. Doit-on pardonner? Non. Car le pardon est entre les mains de Dieu. Doit-on les aider à voir la vie, la vérité en face. Hell yeah!!! Demande lui de demander à sa mère si c'est la vie qu'elle à voulu pour elle, pour lui? Beaucoup seront surpris de la réponse. Et peut-être qu'à partir de là, nous verrons une invasion de vrais hommes. Et peut-être qu'à partir de là nos fils seront des hommes. Des vrais.

Ceci ne s'applique pas à la totalité de la gent masculine, mais si cela à touché un point sensible,c'est sûrement parce qu'il y a place à l'amélioration..... Montre par l'exemple.

May

Family....

Family is the most ?????? thing.....First you get stuck with them.... Then you have to learn to live with them.... Then you have to love them... You have to make them your support system.... You have to encourage them ect ect...

But what if you don't feel you belong with them...what if you don't feel like they understand you... What if your views, your faith, you values, your idea of life have nothing to do with what you were thought?

F***

Then what are you suppose to do? I don't believe you should stay in an unhappy marriage where your ass get's beat up all the time. I don't believe you should be taking drugs for recreational purposes. I don't believe, after you've had kids you should ever say: "If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't have kids" in front of your kids. I don't think that people should cheat on their spouse. I don't think you should have a relationship with a married man and be friends with their wife. I don't think that you should point the finger when you know you are not a model yourself. I don't think you should make assumptions when in reality you just have no idea of what's going on. I don't think you should alieniate your girlfriend from your family because you "think" they'll mettle in your life. I don't think you should be gay and never admit it publicly. I don't think you touch your child just because you gave or participated in their birth. I don't think you should be so quickly to judge. I don't think you should choose friends, girlfriends, boyfriends over anything blood related to you..... LOL ???

But that's just an opinion. Reality is, some friends have been more than family to you. Just like GOD, life is grand and limitless.... So are your choices. The same way we have the option of building the life WE want, we can build the family WE want and try to love the one we have.

In a way it is THE greatest challenge. To love whom sometimes you don't want to love. To be with whom you don't want to be. To do or be anything with whom you don't want to do or be anything with....

There are great families in this world. Bless them.

If you feel you don't belong, just don't! But always be respectful of others. Forgive if you find it in your heart and Move on or along...

Just saying.... May